Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
