we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
