she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
