Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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