So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
