So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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