Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize