I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
