I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
