She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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