ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
