I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
