He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
