Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
