spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I can't turn off my feet"
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
