You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
