you guys were way drunker than both of me
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
