If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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