he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
