i think my tv is drunk
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
and you fell through a lawn chair
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
