i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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