things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
