My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
