Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
