So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
she pinky promised me she was 18
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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