foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
