I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just found puke in my bra..
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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