I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
