i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
