Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
