I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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