either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
