their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
