After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
