Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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