i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
