She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
