A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I have post one night stand depression
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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