walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
