we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I love you. Go after that dick
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