Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
