Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
