We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
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