I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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