I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
