I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
