Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
