Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
