There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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