You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
