Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
